Why are you still here?

Are you still wondering whether you should take that first step in following your gut?

Riku Arikiri
3 min readNov 6, 2022
Photo by Christopher Beddies on Unsplash

Nobody asks you this question with the intent to understand what you’re going through in life.

Mostly it is asked to let you know that it’s time that you move somewhere else. Because frankly, you don’t belong here.

What is here?

I don’t know.

God knows I’ve tried so much.

I know I have. You have, too.

All of us have done it.

We’re doing it as we speak.

I took a bold risk as some might call it. Recently, I switched to sales.

Actually, it was in 2020.

Right when the pandemic hit the world, I wanted to switch to a career where it was more value driven. Where performance was driven by money.

With money comes incentives and compensation.

We need to stop lying to ourselves that we don’t money.

We want it just as much as the other person next to us.

Because without it, our needs can’t be met.

We don’t live in a world grounded by values of altruism.

It’s a capitalistic world run by money.

That in itself isn’t a bad thing. We tend to signal it towards being a vice.

Whether it be a conspiracy or a mindset, in the end, we’re drawn to money.

Because it helps us become one step closer to what we want to acquire.

It gives us a sense of purpose.

It runs the world.

It runs us.

I wanted that for myself.

So I paused my career in engineering and design and dived straight into the world of sales. Well, guess what, since the first day, this aching drive of utilizing my neurodivergent brain was for once in a long time, fulfilled.

I felt content for a long while doing something I loved.

Conversations, building relationships with people, understanding their values, and selling them value.

I feel like I’ve been selling all my life.

I know I’ve been a champion at it, since my childhood.

Then why did I choose engineering?

Let’s say it was a dream, of my own, but also the dream of my parents. It was the projection of the people around. Let’s say what was expected of me.

I did just that.

And I still do it.


Because somethings aren’t meant to be abandoned just because we feel like it.

Some responsibilities aren’t meant to be shirked.

And if you do decide to stop doing them. What happens?

Chaos ensues, and people start resenting you. Your loved ones feel betrayed by you. Because you chose yourself.

You are seen as selfish, ignorant, and arrogant, by many people who know you better than yourself.

You are thrown as an outcast.

Honestly, like you and I; I feel relieved.


Setting yourself up for other people’s expectations is a draining matter altogether.

As soon as you drop this attitude, your life is lived by your rules.

What’s the no. 1 rule?

There isn’t one.

You make them as you go along.

Abandon those when you don’t feel good.

While following those that serve you great results.

But maybe I’m wrong.

And they’re right.

In the end, what matters is now.

You’re here now.

Embrace yourself in the present.

We don’t get many chances to treasure ourselves on our own.

Do just that, in whatever you do.

Everything else is just white noise.



Riku Arikiri

It’s never black or white. Sometimes there’s a bit of spicy red in there as well.