A Summer ecstatic morning of 2016, I woke up and got ready for my university. It was the last day of school, and I was aching to meet my dad who was visiting my city. We had decided we would leave for home, together. He was visiting the city for a conference and a meeting for his startup. Both were perhaps an integral part of his launch.
I finished up at school and met him later at my campus. He then went to the boardroom for the meeting. It took perhaps more than 8 hours and soon nightfall had come. I was waiting, getting a bit anxious by the second. My mother called and asked me when we would be leaving and that “soon.”
My father’s associate came outside and I asked him what was going on and he said that two partners had backed out. It’s a bloodbath in there, my father was angry and he was thrashing those people because of the failure they had done that was affecting the launch of their startup.
He later came outside, I asked him what was up and he told me that they are backing out and withdrawing their funds, asking for a refund of the investment.
But it can’t be helped, either they are all in or out. It was perhaps the biggest loss my father had received in a while. It was 10:30 pm when he came to the car, I asked if we should rest. He said, No we should leave for home. It will take us 5 hours on a normal but if we take the motorway, (that’s a highway) it would be easier and we could easily reach there on time in less than 3 hours if kept at a 140ish km/h pace.
I obliged and sat on the front seat, while he sat on the driver’s seat. We bid our goodbyes to other associates and started traveling at 11:15 pm. We were driving at a swift pace, reaching the highway at approximately midnight.
We started traveling on our journey back home, meanwhile listening to our favorite classical music mixtapes, and perhaps talking about philosophy and singing together as we would usually do.
We reached a toll to stop for refreshment and rest near the tea service, perhaps. I told my dad to stop and rest for a while. Meanwhile, I walked around for a while to check if I could get some things to eat.
It was 1:00 pm, we started traveling again on the road. We were in the Fastlane going at around 120 km/h, my father saw a black sedan coming at a rapid pace, that was trying to overtake many lanes and disturbing the minimal traffic on the road.
He was what we call a local daredevil, who tries to perhaps drift on that highway, as there is minimal traffic but wide roads so many people usually break the 160 km/h speed limit to enjoy cheap thrills. I asked my father to switch to the first lane and let him pass. He passed, swoosh at an alarming rate in front of us. We again switched to the middle at 100km/h and kept on traveling to our destination.
I was busy watching youtube videos, and listening to songs while my father witnesses something peculiar. The Speedometer seemed fixed and wasn’t really moving. There was intense fog on that road too, It usually gets like that in the summer nights. So we slowed down until we would get clear of it.
My father also hinted that the steering wheel felt tighter. We paid no attention and kept on traveling. After a while, we reached a famous canyon that comes along our way we kept on driving at almost I believe 145–150 km/h in the Fastlane.
My father looked towards the speedometer for a second, in an instant, I looked up and perhaps saw the same car that was rushing as daredevil a while earlier. In those moments lapse, I panicked and told my dad, “lookout” — he saw and tried to maneuver the car but to no avail.
It hit the divider along the highway, sprung in circles, and tore across the highway barrier strip launching straight into the canyon ravine where it tore through some trees, and finally stopped.
An accident had happened, one that claimed a life — my life.
The last thing I remember was the tail lights flashing of the car that was in front of us, at that moment — my heart stopped, it was if everything stopped for a split second and my life flashed before my eyes. I saw all the memories of my past self and my experiences. I saw the happy faces, and it was so fast I couldn’t decipher what was happening.
The last thing I heard was a car hitting the divider, the sound of the car wheels screeching as my father trying his level best to maneuver the speeding vehicle and trying to save the lives in front as well as the ones inside his car as well. The car got out of control, it tore off the high strip into the canyon, and then grazed the ravine until finally stopping.
I saw myself being dragged it was a feeling I had never felt, it was as if my life had been taken away, and my human body felt the experience. My brain and body remember the impact, and what occurred afterward. The next thing I am about to tell you is the experience of death, I had.
It was like waking up, but it was blurry — I felt this strange sensation. I couldn’t sense myself or my body or where I was in a vast emptiness. It was like an endless void there was nothing there, a pitch-black nothingness. My existence there was something that was so confusing, I tried to look here or there and couldn’t see anything.
I was suspended in this void — nothingness, I looked around for a while and then I went back into a deep state. My body in that place was but of light. I don’t even think it was a body at all. As I couldn’t clearly see, anything nor myself.
It was as if the entire existence was like a sudden rush, of everything. I felt it all, I don’t know how to explain but I believe your soul is everything you ever are ever will be, ever was — that state is a confused, blurry, vivid state. I went into that animated state again. After a while, this being made of threaded light appeared before.
There was a veil perhaps, I could not decipher who it was. But I paid no mind and went back into the state I was in. After a while, there is a conversation that perhaps transpired between the being and me.
I refer to him, as being X but there are perhaps many names that he is called by some call him the angel of death, other beings of light, others call him guardians of purgatory and vice-versa. They are perhaps there to ask questions from the human who dies and their soul resides in the void called the realm of barzakh etc..
There is much significance toward him, thus I’ll continue with the experience. The language or the conversation that was transpired between me and Being X is a blur. The language is perhaps the language of that world. Whatever question that is asked, you answer it as the truth of what is being asked? — so that is perhaps something I believe is to be the case.
Being X asks me, Do you know where you are?
I reply, that I believe I was in an accident. And I didn’t make it, perhaps my father did as I don’t see him around.
Being X asks me, Is there anyone who would mourn you?
I reply I believe my mother would be devastated. My loved ones would mourn, and they would miss me. There are people I wanted to help, there are many who would miss me.
Being X then asks me, a question that was something I don’t understand as to how the things occurred afterward, “Do you want to go back?”
I replied, with a “No” — he asks me why,
“I told him that I lived my life with the best of my intentions, every day. I honored every day and valued it — though I have regrets, and I sinned. I am aware of that, some I couldn’t help and some were never my intentions. A man like me, who is a sinner doesn’t get second chances. I said I lived my life with all I had and I gave that in the service of mankind, my love, and my life. I do not want to go back, as the pain I bore in life was far a greater price for the life I lived.”
After that the being steps back, and I again go back into my deep state. After a while, the being comes closer — he takes what appears to be a hand and phases it through my chest of what appeared to be my soul.
I experience this pain, that I have never experienced before. It tore through me like It broke my existence. I was in an agony of what was happening to me, I regained consciousness screaming in the front seat of my car, while my father shaking me,
“Are you all right?”
The pain followed — my entire body was hurting, it slowly disappeared in an instant going last felt in my head — and then there was a calm peace that flowed through me that I had never felt. I opened my eyes slowly and saw that my legs had hit the car dashboard. It was broken as my legs had hit it. It was in pieces, but my legs were all right.
They had minor scratches, but I was okay. I looked around and saw the things in the car. The mirrors of the car were still intact. No mirror broke in the collision. I came outside of the car, I and my father were both all right, he had sustained a minor bruise near his eye. Nothing more.
We looked around in the small landscape, where the car was stuck in wet mud. I looked behind and saw something mysterious — the car back bumper was torn off. It was sitting between two trees. The car could never virtually pass through those trees. Let alone without a scratch. The engine was still running. It didn’t sustain any damages.
The front and back of the car were damaged but the car was still in shape. Though all of our luggage was crushed on top of each other in the trunk of the car. Some men came, to push the car backward so that we can try to get it out. They called the medical team and tow trucks to take the car out.
I was feeling fine, but a feeling of peace was upon me. I was feeling anew. But what had I experienced I paid it no mind during then. I told them, that we saw a car in front of us. But they told us something more stranger that they didn’t see a vehicle in front of us. Perhaps the vehicle ran away. All of these strange things, perhaps it was written it this way.
But what happened to me in the nether, was something all too strange. The medic came and checked my pulse it was severely calm. I wasn’t even wearing any seatbelts, after a thorough check-up. I told him I feel all right. I moved around for a while and felt connected in the now as if it had taken away all that It had given me a new chance at life, I was taking it slowly.
I then asked my father what now, he told me that my uncles were coming to check upon us. We told them what happened, but I didn’t tell my father up until later. It was the month of Ramadan. The accident occurred around 2:15–2:30. At 3:15, I prayed afterward and thanked God for what had transpired.
Afterward, I and my father sat in the vehicle while the tow truck put our vehicle on the lorry, and we slept inside until we reached home — It took us 12 hours to reach home as opposed to the 3-hour plan. I told him what had happened, and he told me don’t pay it any attention. We never really told anyone, we broke the news after a few days when things calmed down but didn’t talk about the details until after.
I had experienced trauma what soon to be would become flashbacks that I would feel, for the next three years until they finally calmed down. I would feel this immense sixth sense as if an impact would happen. Plus my body hasn’t really recovered from that incident.
My senses are heightened to a maximum after the accident, I’m more aware now but somehow the fears of the pasts have been cleansed and I’m more at peace now than I ever was. Somehow my experience in the void was perhaps fate.
My death was written, but somehow by God’s miracle or a divine blessing I was given a second chance. Now I am not trying to scare anyone with my experience. I tried to tell other people, they mocked me as people would.
Some of my friends would mock me, by quoting my experience “near-death with a burst of incessant laughter.” But I learned to manage that feeling too. I don’t even remember the time spent in that place.
Now after years of researching, reading, two pilgrimages, I believe I have my answers to what lies before death from experience, and practicality. But there is still so much, I don’t know and I’d let it rest when it comes again.
There were perhaps 10 miracles, I experienced in that fateful night.
- At the time of the accident, my late grandmother woke up screaming from a dream, and she told my mother that something has happened to me and my father.
- All the increasing signs like the car steering and speedometer, and all the warnings.
- The car’s accident in total, the highspeed of 150 km/h, and the collision.
- Zero damages sustained, no physical injuries but psychological ones such as PTSD.
- Experiencing death, and something otherwordly.
- Coming in contact with being X.
- The life-shattering pain that brought me back to life.
- No Loss of life, but gained an insight towards the mysteries of life and death.
- The bumper standing between two trees, the car can never cross through but somehow it did, the body of the car unscathed and the other factors.
- I Survived to tell the tale, without a scratch.
There is perhaps more to it than that, but even if people have mocked me in the past, for my traumas and experiences — it is plausible of what I experienced was real. Because I believe that the human body and the soul are but two different factors hosted together in sync.
The human body might still be alive but the soul might be taken away before. Thus the senses might still be alive to record the impact of the car and the happening but I recognize another happening somewhere else.
Because I believe Death comes upon you the moment, your soul is taken away. I remember It was like control was taken away from me as I was being dragged into this nothingness away from what I was seeing. Your body might still be alive, trying to hold the soul and not letting go of life. We at times try to confuse our suffering of life with the willingness to die.
But that’s life as well. We die when our body loses the will to live, and then the soul has no place to confide in and It is taken with ease. Otherwise, if you feel pain the body is trying to struggle to live, and not trying to let the soul be snatched away from the body. That’s why we feel so much agonizing pain when we experience such an incident.
Our will keeps our bodies and ourselves alive. If the will is broken, death is swift. I believe in my experience, my body recorded all the things experienced in this world while my soul experienced in the other. I believe my body to be the extension of my soul and vice-versa.
Neither can exist without the other. Both are dependent perhaps. The pain I felt in the void, was something of a divine miracle that perhaps I was given a second chance at life, or perhaps there is still more to what I need to learn.
I have had experienced miracles such as this before, but death was something new. I am not afraid of death anymore, I wasn’t afraid of death before. Fears are common, we all feel afraid — it is natural to fear something we don’t understand.
But I do now, and I believe my experience can solve the mysteries of death perhaps give it a new perspective. Or I would be singled out as a joke. But It’s for people who want to believe, and they will understand what it is.
Thankfully, only a few people in my life know of my experience and now perhaps it might find a place for everyone else as well. Because whenever I have told other people, clerics, scholars — most of them have either laughed and mocked me while some were baffled and startled and had no answers.
That’s why I thought it best for the right time to write about it in ample detail. Though how much detail I ever can write, it doesn’t come closer to what I experienced. Some times I even think why did Being X send me back here. But then again, I’m thankful and grateful he did. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to share this spiritual miracle and blessing with everyone else.
I died and came back to tell the tale. But I realized more about life than I ever could and the years that followed showed me one hardship after the other which gave me the insight that We all deserve to live life, with the best of our abilities and We deserve second chances as well. Peace.
Thank you for reading. Stay Blessed and Stay Safe.
With Love ❤️