The Invisible Wall, Confidence Helps Cross Over The First Time
Have you ever felt, talking to another person — be it your crush, teacher, the parent or just making your point across to another seems like a chore — let alone a hurdle you can’t seem to figure out how to get across?
In my recent years, I have grown accustomed to standing out where most of my peers tend to give up and i.e. observing until I am ready to leap. We have all heard of the words, Patience is a virtue. Yet when it comes to waiting — it seems like a bummer, I won’t lie.
In communication, patience is key only when you are waiting with confidence. There is an active role of listening involved during that journey if we want to take our piece of the prize. I’m sure most people are either motivated by the outcomes, or by the rewards. I am usually motivated by the process.
You see the process when it comes to communication involves a great deal of perseverance. That persistence is essential for you to build or rather gather necessary essential skills, and edge to succeed. All of that is achieved through failure. When we fail, we try again but with the feedback, we receive from our setbacks.
Though when it comes to communicating with others, who are more prone to reject our instances towards them — it becomes increasingly hard for us to continue. Let’s be honest, we all want to feel confident during our communication with others. But we also want others around us to be confident as well. It is perhaps a requirement in front of some people.
It is true while confidence does help us to make the first step — our self-doubt can cripple us as soon as we take the second, putting us in a tight place. There is perhaps an Invisible wall that stands in front of us and the people we usually aim to impress or gain attention from. This bubble is called the attitude problem.
Though many people have a fixed sentiment in choosing whom to talk to — this instantiates this aura that reflects upon them in filtering what kind of people will approach them. It helps them to navigate the plain in a much simpler fashion. Most women I have known in my life have that, and some men than most tend to exhibit such character traits while most of us usually fake it.
Faking confidence or attitude for that matter isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes both go together very easily, thus those who are socially awkward would feel intimidated more or less to interact with such and such.
This increases the chance of them attracting people who have a higher affinity to approach them. People who tend to possess the invisible wall, are usually popular because it tends to showcase an ability that helps them become attractive. Many people in our lives tend to mix each other to appeal attractive to the opposite sex.
Though confidence doesn’t necessarily mean you would have the necessary arguments with you to succeed. Those however come with the best method there is i.e. observing your person of interest. There are many ways you can do that, one such method is by introducing yourself to ask the time.
In my experience, when you ask someone whom you want to approach, the best and easiest way to catch them off guard is to ask the time. To illustrate this method is to approach your person of interest and graciously ask,
“Excuse me, Sir/madam — could you please tell me what time it is?”
One of the probing ways of gaining someone’s attention is to ask the most outrageous question in the best of courtesy and respect. Now, this example doesn’t necessarily qualify for an actual scenario. Does that usually depend on who the person is? what is the scene? where are you right now? who are you gender-wise? — these are all fascinating details that help you customize this question to find a chance to interact with another.
Because of the setting — the elements that you need in your hands to initiate a moment of conversation, matters. Afterward, when they tell you the time. It is better, to say “Thank you and move onwards.” But before you leave, look in their eyes with admiration and respect when you are grateful.
This represents two of the major seeds that you will sow. One such seed is that you will create a sense of respect among the person in question and yourself. This is essential as in most cases, the other person would ask your name. But this certain act of decency would cement, you in their memory. See we might not remember our first class lecture, but we do remember our first interactions — this is how you make that first interaction.
Instead, of thinking about large goals — try to do simple, little but effective things that make an impact in the long run. This is essential because it removes the chance of you losing your confidence in anxiety, and worry.
Furthermore, the second seed that you will plant is an opportunity to meet again. Now communication such as this can become longer depending on the way you take it. There are perhaps many such cases, where you can ask for directions — ask them if they can guide you.
In doing so, you will have another chance but a more successful one as you’d have already tested the waters. You won’t hesitate the second time — it works. You would feel more confident the next time, you do interact with that person.
When you usually come out of the blue, the other person is oblivious to you. This helps you create a scene — a place where you can establish control over the reactions of your person. As their invisible wall, becomes undone — you can interact with them on your terms. But remember, the key to winning the person is to be respectful, kind with a reassuring, calming tone.
It will take a lot of practice to get this right the first time. Because kindness or moreover practicing kindness comes with experience. You have to find the warmth, and courteousness within yourself first. When it is a part of you, you wear it, and you embrace it. This increases your chances of making an impact on your first interaction greatly.
When they do answer, practice gratitude and then quickly but calmly take your leave. This will stem that interaction to a timed pace. Now if you can cement yourself through a kind and refreshing perspective — you will be able to sow a chance for you to cross over the next time you see them walking towards your way.
Now you don’t need to stay there and ruin your chances. Be very swift and calm about your exit strategy. Leave just as you visited, it will blow their mind — they might even laugh, or might smile of what just happened to them.
“Everyone smiles in the same language,
Happiness knows no frontiers, no age.
No difference thar makes us feel apart
if a smile can win even a broken heart.”
― Ana Claudia Antunes
The invisible wall, in many ways, is troublesome but not impossible to cross over. In many scenarios, it exists in a person’s mind which confidence can easily break. You can walk to them, with confidence but if you need to make a good impact — practice asking people informal questions with the most courteous of intent.
We all want to help other people or to be used to them in some manner or way. This technique helps do all that — with a structured set of rules that anyone can bend to make it work for them.
Whether you need to make a friend or to impress the girl you like or just make someone’s day — this can take you to places, as long as you know what you are doing and that ladies and gentlemen come with confidence, courtesy & practice.
Remember you can’t just build a relationship one day. It takes time, and essential steps that you need to take to cement your presence in the other person’s eyes and their wall.
The best interactions are the ones that share a sense of joy.
Thus, keep practicing and interacting with people — fail, fail until you succeed because the best lessons come from those that fail.
Peace, Take Care & Stay Safe!