The 6 Valuable Lessons I Have Learned From Hardships in Life

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

Hardship, a profound sentiment — it tends to be a journey filled with struggles that never cease.

Life has been difficult for most of us this year. Day after day it ushers a new hardship or struggles that we have to bear or persevere through. It is becoming increasingly difficult as things progress. But there is something we need to hope for as it lies within these hardships that we have to clearly learn as we move forward.

I believe life has been a mix of everything for me. Things are changing spontaneously and this year — even I am baffled at the amount of uncertainty that has come my way.

A Life of hardship is essential in building a better self. It teaches us the fundamental essence of acceptance towards wherever life might take us. But we can definitely map the outcomes of our choices when experiencing hardships.

It becomes clear, as soon as we think clearly in such situations and making us more agile and receptive to our experiences. Here are 6 rewarding lessons that a life of hardship can teach us.

Intuition — You are the sign, you have been waiting for. Make Things Happen.

Have you ever received guidance from the universe, while watching a T.V show or even a discussion — finding a solution to something you were dealing with for long?

One of the many things an uncertain life can teach is the fundamental essence of understanding. Be it life, people, or even tough situations that are aching to make or break you — you can easily process them without ever putting in the physical or mental effort.

If you fall ten times, you’d know where to fall even if you trip the 11th time by mistake.

It is an effortless process. You are experienced so much so that you know if you fall on your back — you would try to make split-second choices that would help you to frame your fall to minimize damage.

Intuition is built through experiences. The vast majority of intuition is built through hardships. When you try to face insurmountable odds, knowing you can turn everything around over that one percent chance.

5 Years ago, I was living in a dorm with a few friends and faculty mates. Our caretaker was a young lad. One night he came out of the bathroom and he drank the Clorox.

The reason being he tried to commit suicide as his fiance had texted him that she is leaving him and this took a toll on his mental health. He first tried to overdose through pills, and later on, he tried to drink Clorox.

I believe he couldn’t take it. His mental resolve was broken and he chose to end his suffering. But what was going to happen to him was more suffering than he ever thought possible. When I saw him vomiting blood, I immediately tend to him. And called everybody outside, they were shocked but at that moment they stood still in a panic.

They weren’t even touching him, because he just tried to commit suicide by drinking acid. That horrifying state made them lose faith. I picked up and told my late best friend to start driving. At first, we tried to wipe the blood and tried to administer first aid. We drove as fast we could not lose even a second to spare.

We reached the hospital, I couldn’t wait for the ambulance to put him on the stray hair. I instantly at that moment realized that if they hesitated we might lose him. At that moment, I picked him and ran towards the ICU. He was bleeding and whispering to me, “please don’t tell my family, that I did this — I am sorry.”

In that 30 seconds of rushing towards the hospital, I managed to get him to the doctors and they administered IV’s that had stabled him for a while. Then they transferred him to another hospital with the necessary equipment for his treatment. They had to clean his stomach of the acid, so we put him in another ambulance. I stayed until we reached the facility.

In the ambulance, I was holding the I.V. Meanwhile, his state is perhaps one of the hardest of states I have experienced. Imagine someone who realizes, that they made a mistake.

The grim atmosphere was unimaginably horrifying for him at least. He was crying as well as trying to mumble, he had lost almost all his senses. It was a difficult 30 minutes, for him.

He survived because I was able to effectively turn around the situation. If the other dorm mates wouldn’t have stopped panicking — if we had even risked the chance of delaying it could have been his end as we know it.

Later on, the authorities and his brother came. We were told to head back home. When we came back, we searched his room and found his phone and his texts.

I have been in places where if you hesitate even for a second, people who try to overdose on pills or use other methods to end their lives. It is mostly a subtle moment of despair. It is not an easy switch, it is one filled with a lot of suffering. Suicide is not the answer, the answer is in seeking help from others where one couldn’t fit.

We should put more faith into the people we call our friends, the more we put our trust, the stronger our bond becomes.

My intuition gave the subtle edge in saving his life, it was all perhaps timing that we were able to trust our instinct. Trust your instincts, they will push you towards reaching a destination where desperation cannot.

Therein lies, a moment in desperation where if you think clearly you can pull of a miracle. In that night perhaps, the best miracle was that my intuition withstood all odds to break free from that endearing hardship.

Your instinct can guide you towards learning about answers you have always been searching for. You just have to pay attention to the little signs, that occur often. Thus, you will be able to understand the essence of life and improve upon that as well.

Perseverance — I will not falter, neither will I fall nor will I give up until I reach where I aspire to be.

Patience is a virtue, persistence is divine — yet there is something more to learn from hardships, the gifts benign.

There is a famous saying where I am from, that resonates towards a life of hardship i.e.

“Indeed, God is with those who are patient and the best among the wise are the ones who are resolute.”

Perseverance is a necessary perspective that we can harness when it comes to any life problem. It builds a tenacity that pushes us even if we have no breath to spare anymore. It shows us how we can change our fates when faced with insurmountable odds.

Life is uncertain, we know that but there at times, life can become very vague when it comes to obtaining results. We tend to lose faith in ourselves, and in doing so we fail at overcoming our hardship. Perseverance is a perspective that keeps us determined to see it through.

It is a mindset that is evolved after overcoming any struggle be it small or large. It is ever-changing, ever-evolving and ever-rewarding. There have been many times in my life where I felt my end was near. But in that moment of desperation, I realized that there is something to what I was experiencing.

I believed that if I persisted long enough, even if it took me a decade of hardship or a decade worth of hardship in a few years spent. I would be able to become someone who can escape from the shackles of imprisonment — failures tend to bring about on someone.

I have had a difficult time, pursuing education defeating the norm, and changing my life. It is a continuing hard process, that I ease every day. I try to put in the effort every now and then because I need to. It is my need to pursue value in everything I do. There is always meaning in the little moments I experience whether it is strife, doubt, or even pain.

The thing that keeps me going is the vision where I will be lead to if I persist. Persistence is necessary when it comes to anything, be it a business or a start-up, be it education or career, be it social work or helping others — To persist in the face of odds is perhaps the most admirable of quality in my experience.

Even if I don’t have much time left, I will still put my all even if the outcomes were never in my favor. I will turn those odds around with this sentiment and this shall be our end through perseverance.

In short, Perseverance is the art of combining patience, faith, and resolution to persist in the face of any such odds that are holding a test we have to pass so that we gain the reward that lies within this journey of self-discovery.

Courage — Take risks and chances even if the ends aren’t in your favor.

What is the harshest risk you have ever taken before, that challenged your very existence?

I believe I have answers for such a question. Indeed, I have taken risks where they fundamentally shaped who I would become. In life there are at times, we have to be courageous not only for ourselves but for the situation that can arise.

In a difficult predicament, it is indeed essential for us to take chances and risks for others and for the reason we live.

7 years ago, I was coming back with my family after a festive day. It was a local holiday, and we were coming back from our ancestral home. The highway was empty but there were still cars on very different pacing.

We reached a roundabout near our home, that a person who was carrying essential foods that he was taking back on his motorbike. In an instant, a driver took a wrong turn and hit him. While his motorcycle dragged him away, spilling all the food he was carrying with him.

In an instant, while we were at a turning pace around that turn. I jumped from my car opening the door running towards the man who was bleeding severely. I wasn’t the only one, we lifted him up. Secured his belongings, and administered pressure on his wound until the ambulance came.

We also went to check the driver, she was afraid. So a few guys stood around her so that nobody tries to play the melodramatic act on her. In another instant, I and a couple of other guys called his family informing them about what happened.

I did not care that I might fall, or hurt myself because there was someone else in need of dire assistance. I have taken certain chances and risks in life that not only secured other people’s lives but also boasted by belief in myself in doing what is deemed impossible.

We all have hearts of courage, it is a mindset that we all possess. We can exercise it at will as some risks come with greater rewards. Sometimes those rewards are perhaps saving a life and that has a lot of value in my regards.

Taking high risks is perhaps essential for learning in life. There are perhaps many things one can learn to assist themselves and the people around them. After he was taken in the ambulance, I bid my farewell to the other people who came towards rushing to aid him.

In moments of hardship, I just rush towards danger — it has always been that way with me for as long as I can remember.

I came towards the car where my family was and they were baffled. My father smiled while he drove back to the car. I believe he felt happy knowing he has a child who knows when to show a courageous spirit in the time of need.

Take courage with you, if you want to prove yourself or you want to achieve the impossible — you will think clearly, smartly mitigating the risks that you take.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and it’s true. In my case, there is perhaps, another hardship where I died but still came back strong.

Courage is something that you can harness even having an anxiety attack just by breathing deeply. It is the choice you have to make, and the risk that you have to break — therein lies the answer that awaits on the other side of that choice.

The solitude of Mind — There is an ocean of calmness that awaits you once you take a deep breath, and reemphasize, it will become clear.

Have you ever taken a brisk walk at 1:54 am at midnight?

The atmosphere, the calmness, stillness, peace that is surrounding you is a pleasant stroll down the lane. The solitude of mind is like that — you tend to push everything necessary out of your frame of mind to taste the peace that awaits you.

One of the most fantastic gifts hardships can bestow upon us is the solitude of mind, heart, and even the soul if we persevere long enough. But this is also one such perspective that anyone can grasp at their fingertips.

Hardships do tend to build an autonomous sense of peace in the mind. As one who perseveres through such ordeals can inevitably live a very peaceful life. One that isn’t filled with vice. Sure some will always influence you, but to act on those impulses is a different matter altogether.

This is probably where this solitude helps as it cancels out all the unnecessary and adds a calming fragrance that soothes the heart, mind, and soul.

I usually take these walks, nowadays. I leave all the distractions behind in the house though it worries my mother sometimes that I went outside to throw the trash but disappeared right after doing it. So I don’t make her worry much, and come back when I have filled myself with the peace I need.

You don’t need an ocean, or waves hitting the shoreline to receive this perspective. It is but a choice when you breathe deeply and focus on everything but yourself — be a silent observer if you may, as you slowly walk across the street.

When you’ll start to observe, you will pay more attention to detail allowing your mind to feel the things that you normally would not. It will not only give you a fresh perspective but to also enjoy the calming breeze your mind will breathe towards your soul.

Afterward, you can just continue on with what you were aiming to please, or achieve as this perspective will motivate you towards achieving that with ease.

Kindness — You will learn to become kinder to yourself and other people as well as empathize with them on a deeper level.

Do you show affection to people everywhere you go? It can be a nod or an occasional greeting with a smile?

I do it often, so much so that If I don’t greet someone, with whom I cross eyes — I feel bad. One of the many lessons that have framed my personality and myself is perhaps kindness. Though, I believe I have been shown a great deal of suffering and misery.

Even at times people just tend to say the wrong thing at the wrong time in my life. But I forgive them and appreciate their advice. Sometimes people can’t generally correlate with you unless they have been in the same shoes as yourself. It is much harder for them as well as they never strived for developing empathy towards others.

I get this sentiment a lot from my mentees who tell me that they can’t relate. But showing kindness doesn’t demand any of that. It doesn’t even need a price, it is but a choice and the state of being kind whether to yourself and others.

Kindness is the form of love, that leaves a mark on both the bearer and the received for the better.

Life is hard and at times it makes us feel like we are the only ones, we are not. The best way to break that bubble is to look past our “self” and focus on what’s around us. We can become selfless when we become kind. Many things work together interchangeably when it comes to being kind.

Things we never thought, we possessed. Oh, but we do and so much more. Understanding stems from actively listening, and communicating their points and references. That’s what empathy is at its core, to actively participate in helping someone find ease.

A kind gesture or act will be remembered by someone even if you never meet them. You perhaps might even become a legend or folklore.

In doing so, we can find ease in their ease as well. Perhaps many answers await when two hands join forces. Imagine a thousand, and that is what kindness inspires. The ability to deliver ease even in the hardest of times — so use it well, and freely.

Humor — Life can be tough, but there isn’t any hardship in life that a quick laugh can’t fix.

Do you frequently smile, or choose to bask in joy even if the situation never demanded it?

Seeking pleasure can be an easy task, once you have learned to smile. We all can smile, we all can be happy regardless of what we have than what we are. Being happy and finding joy in the most mundane of things is perhaps one of the many lessons hardships can bring.

Whenever I am given a trial of life, I do usually laugh. It is hysterical, that life listens to what I am saying and sends another wave for me to ride.

Will I sink or swim? I think I’ll tear through them with a smile.

The best way to remove this self-deprecating misery is to joust a quick laugh at yourself or the situation entirely. It not only amuses you but the other people around you can also share a laugh. I believe humility and humor when coupled together can make you a comedian — A great one at that.

Recently due to the passing of my grandmother in June, I was sitting with my aunt and mother. I usually keep them company these days. As the loss of a mother can be really hard. So I would just normally say silly things at the expense of my own humility to make them laugh.

Though those skits and stunts can even make anyone laugh. Even though those words or sentences are embarrassing but I feel much better doing them. Even if for a moment, I can bring a smile on their faces — I will take that risk to ease their suffering and make their day.

Humor and joy guarantee these things, however, small can make a difference in someone’s life. They aren’t small in my book, they are highly admired qualities, and people who frequently tend to exhibit such behaviors have my respect.

Hardships can become easy when you know how to laugh. So the next time you feel down, try laughing or even smiling. Practice smiling every day, and it will come naturally. I do wonder, about your smile. I hope that you can smile through whatever comes your way, as have I.

Keep spreading these little moments and share them with strangers, as well as your loved ones. There is no form of misery that can withstand the sheer tenacity of one who can thrive while they smile. Peace.

The Takeaway

  • Listen to the little things, they will help you move volumes beyond your comprehension. Trust your instincts.
  • To err is human, but to persist is divine. Therein lies the answer you have been searching for.
  • Give second chances to yourself, and other people. Take risky steps with caution, but most of all — be fearless of whatever comes may.
  • In moments of desperation, breathe deeply and think — you will find the AHA moment that will break your limits.
  • Be tender towards yourself and other people as well. We can be different from what our problems maketh us to be.
  • Show humility towards one’s self and laugh it off. Even if life gets you down, there isn’t anything a good laugh can’t fix — Smile a lot, it costs nothing and is beyond price.

Thank you for reading.
Stay Blessed and Stay Safe! ❤️

i often ponder… and yet i am still here to stay, will you?

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