Thank you for the kind remarks! and the affectionate concern; There have been many times i have crossed that bridge thus I am feeling the side effects of newer realities brought to my attention, thus these past few weeks perhaps even the past year has been tough to handle, but I have seen worse than this but the feelings of duress sometimes does cause me to confine in the restless state of pain, it comes and goes just like fate but I hope to recover soon from this sometimes awful state. 😅

I wrote this, to empty my mind perhaps from the outer struggle and the subconscious one. It’s a bit complicated, but i can say i can handle it effectively if someone is around or I’m able to entertain someone thus my mind just escapes into another realm to void such kinds of sufferings but they’re there and at times they do feel like tension headaches and even heavy health concerns. But there’s nothing a few days of sleep & rest can not fix.

This time of lock down has probably given me a sense of relief and a break from everything. To most people who probably feel that this pandemic is a prison. I believe people who have experienced insurmountable amount of grief and sorrow; they feel a bit free from the relative daily prison routine.

But that doesn’t mean i’m free of life’s problems, I’m just good at prioritizing them. I accept everything that’s happening in my life i.e. is under my control. The rest is just taken one step at a time.

Kevin at times, there are people who do experience sheer hopelessness but I believe everybody does come around, if they have someone to care for them. We all want to connect, to learn, to feel but at times the people around from whom we supplement ourselves with the hope to live on, suddenly gets crushed by the fate’s hidden truths. They’re probably hidden for a reason, and when someone who is emotionally inclined to reveal those secrets, it engulfs everybody around them with feeling of hopelessness that comes from truth and such forms of knowing.

Thank you for asking me how I was doing, if I were to put it mildly, “I am trying, but it’s life accepting and moving on is the best option.” Even if its the pain, or the headaches(auras) or even the sheer sickness caused by it. If we focus on other things, it always somewhat helps but a person who preferably experiences other forms of suffering through other people’s actions. They lose a lot of parts of themselves with time. There is so much, I could say but it would take a lot of time, perhaps to unveil everything. and something are just meant to not be said but felt.

Its just like other difficult ordeals in my life, some i conquered, some i struggle with, whereas some i never even knew that they existed but i know i have to deal with the unknown which is known and thus all the past happenings have just triggered other emotional, spiritual and psychological traumas, I have been able to piece everything together slowly, gradually and hopefully in time; I’ll break through this feelings of dismay as I always had.

It’s definitely an experience i thrive in, even if it is despair but yeah I have fantastic stories to tell everyone someday.

Kevin Buddaeus, my dear friend you’re truly a kind and gentle soul. I admire and definitely adore your keen response and also your caring attitude. You’re definitely one of the wise men of old. Perhaps, those men who the hermits speak of, people who have hearts of kindness. It can be seen in your eyes, and your bewildering smile. You’re definitely a kind soul. Thank you so much ❤, my dear friend for giving that small amount of kindness that gave me a lot of joy. I had been feeling pretty low, yesterday and was sick a lot but now after reading what you wrote with the utmost sincerity; I truly admire and respect you! and see you as a gentle man.

God Bless you and your loved ones. Peace, Love and Happiness onto you! ❤

Stay Blessed and Stay Safe!


It’s never black or white. Sometimes there’s a bit of spicy red in there as well.

It’s never black or white. Sometimes there’s a bit of spicy red in there as well.