How To Motivate A Heartbroken Student

Healing takes time, but here’s something you can do to speed up the process — Take the lead.

Photo by Joseph Chan on Unsplash

We are all students of life. And thus all of us have experienced heartbreak at some point in time. It is a feeling like no other. The pain that you feel when it becomes harder to breathe. The tears that fall relentlessly as our eyes pray for ease. It is something we struggle with — pain. It comes when we least expect it. When he had made up our mind, to confess your heartfelt feelings for the person of interest.

It is inevitable, pain is an essential part of our human lives. Even if we try to neglect it — it will find a way to reach our hearts. One way or another, we have to decide. To choose to either go with the flow or let ourselves grow with the feelings of sorrow.

One of my dear fellows, a prodigy perhaps in engineering. He is a shy kid. He caught feelings for a girl who was his classmate. Though they were acquainted, they never had a friendship with one another.

He had been aching to possess the courage to talk to this girl. He didn’t have any ill intent to drop the “L” word on her. He just wanted to perhaps talk and get to know her a little better. He had never done this, and he was afraid to confess his feelings for her.

One day I caught upon him in the cafeteria, but his face was frowning upon the juice box, as the small tears fell from his big brown eyes. I didn’t know what had happened. So I came to him as I usually would with zest but this time I came slowly. I put my hand on his shoulder, and asked, “what happened?” He replied, that he had taken a leap of faith and went to talk to the girl about his feelings and how he liked her. And wanted to get to know her better, if she’ll let him.

The result, however, wasn’t how he expected, and the girl laughed and made a joke out of his attempt in front of her friends. How rude right? This was perhaps humiliating as she diced his feelings into perhaps a thousand cuts. These attacks landed on his frail heart, as the laughter of the people around him made him anxious. And he, while experiencing an emotional state said, “I’m sorry to the girl.” And he ran away from them as an excuse to hide his tears.

He had told me that, he spent a lot of time crying in his car. He blamed himself and hit himself which I could fairly see from the redness on his forehead. He had experienced something hurtful, and especially in his case, it was perhaps worse as he never felt such an excruciatingly painful experience.

Whenever he is anxious, or worried — he sometimes hit himself. As though he blamed all on his mind to do so. It is something children develop when they are always blamed at an early age. That if anything goes wrong, it’s their fault. This behaviour becomes a habit that tends to show up now and then when they face such a situation.

Hearing this, I got furious and I wanted to go and pay my respects to the assholes who had made a fool out of him. Because people necessarily need to be taught manners, but he asked me not to do so. As he didn’t want to do anything rash. I told him “you are right, but it doesn’t need to be that way.” I have consulted many people who have experienced such a day. I have been there to support them in these dire times.

Every person who experiences strife has a chance to grow. They only when there is an intervention made by the people in their life who call them a friend.

Remember in times of strife, it's not about you — it’s about them. You to get their trust, and allow them to forget or perhaps walk across this feeling of anguish. Do not allow them to dive in despair. It is not a place, where one leaves a friend.

Instead of saying the obvious — show them with your voice. Show them with your heart, and show them with your gusto. Show that you care, show that you are here now. Allow them to rest their feelings on their shoulder. Help them release the sorrow that’s manifested in their heart.

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe

Whenever I come across a friend, who experiences a moment of strife. I take them away from that place which makes them filled with woe. Most of the times, I drive them to someplace nice. Allow them to take their mind of off things. The best way to do that is by removing the thoughts of what has transpired.

You need to build their resilience but before that, you need to prepare their mind. The only way to do that is ensuring whatever you can to help them see — that they are not alone.

No one should feel lost, in a world filled with people who can make them happy.

Hug them, if you can. Embrace them gently and calmly and let them cry on your shoulders. Do not let those tears go to waste. Ensure them that you are here now. There’s something powerful in an embrace of a companion — it helps you release everything that makes your heart break. By doing that, you will not only help your loved one catch ease. But also allow them to feel safe.

Take them away as far as you can. Spend time with them. Allow them that they can feel free. Do dumbshit that makes them laugh. Make a fool out of yourself if you have too.

The best way to make someone realize that you’re here is to help them see a part of you they’ve never seen.

Share your pain, your support but most of all your love. The love that makes you human. The love that makes you who you are. Display gratitude mixed with affection and encourage that their feelings have value.

At the end of the day, when all is said and done — you would have made their day, one that they will reminisce for the rest of their life. As the day, they conquered past their heartbreak and the feelings that made them sad were the ones that finally made them strong.

We have to always take essential steps in safeguarding our students, our friends — our future. Our students aren’t just a relationship we receive through a role. They are first and foremost human beings. They deserve to have a companion that loves and cherishes them — in their worst and their best.

My companion felt better after the time spent with him. I left with him — words of affection, feelings of warmth, a whole lot of hugs, and food to spare. It took him time to understand his feelings and get over them. It helped him to become confident as well as mentally tough.

Time heals all wounds, but companionship is something that speeds up the process. I hope you take chances for your friends in your life and trust that you have the power to lead them to get through any struggle that comes their way.

Be the light that shines brightly to help them believe, that it’s going to be all right.

The Takeaway

  • Create an environment of trust.
  • Embrace them as much as you can, no matter how hard it becomes.
  • Imbue words of strength and courage by allowing them to see your human side.
  • Create an intervention for change — take them away far from the place of sorrow.
  • Shower them with love, support, attention and affection.
  • Encourage their strengths, and acknowledge their weaknesses.
  • Help them see a better life, by investing in them with your heart and soul.

I write about life, and the hope it bears in a poetic context. 💖🕊️

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