How To Give Back To Your Parents, In These Trying Times

Throw them a party, and forgive past troubles to build bridges that connect each other.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

It is said, that a mother goes through unimaginable pain when giving birth to their child. She then dedicates her entire life in raising that child. Whereas the father earns the livelihood becoming the guardian and best friend to their child. Parents are a blessing in disguise. At times, they might be strict and they can become rude to us. But they truly care for us, with all their heart and soul.

I have followed my parent’s example — my entire life, ever since I was born. I learned from them, their hardships, sadness and grief. They have taken care of me. And Fashioned me into a fine lad. Ever since I was little, I have watched as my parents built our home with their hard work, resilience and joy.

They allowed me to engage with them and be a part of the family. They loved me and showed great courtesy when I needed it from them. Everyone does have regrets when it comes to parenting but I still am happy that my parents are here to help me go through this pandemic.

We live together, and take care of one another. We communicate and share our daily struggles. We try to help one another. Besides our problems, we do feel complete with one another. It isn’t perfect, but it still is what a family is supposed to be.

Every parent deserves their child, to take care of them as they once did when they were young. I realized this closely when my late grandmother fell ill. All of us had to take shifts and tend to her every need.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where you can’t eat, breathe nor sleep properly. Day to day tasks become impossible to finish. Even living becomes unbearable. It is those times when our parents need our best selves. Even if we aren’t — we have to make sure, we become just that for them.

I have known many people in my life who have been a parental figure to me. Some, I never got the chance to repay. There were many, I was able to give my love and support. While a few I was never able to meet.

Life is all but a circle of chances. They are right there — when we can take them but we are too busy in the distractions that we aren’t able to spare a few seconds for them.

In this time, we are living in a world where social distancing has become a prevalent phenomenon. We are far and out of reach from our loved ones, especially our parents.

We are connected through means of technology. Yet we are not alone. We have to try and give back to our parents. Perhaps, going back to them and making their day. It is in our hardships, do we learn to sacrifice for one another — do we become a family. Where each sacrifices their ease for another. Making a family much lively, and homely place to be in.

Recently, I have been taking care of the emotional needs of my parents. As I’m locked away in my room 24/7. I use my time to connect with my mother, who’s usually alone. We sit and talk about documenting her life into an autobiography. I have been helping her to create a memory storyboard. Which we will use to create a timeline for her autobiography.

My mother has lived a life of hardship. She is a strong, resilient and independent woman. Her life is an example for me, and the many women in our family. Even after living a life of hardship — she gave me enough morale and courage to learn the many ways I needed to fare life’s hardship. In a way, I have been closely watching her since I was but an infant.

I have been with her since the start. I have seen her worst and her best. I believe my mother did her best in raising us. We don’t doubt her for a second. I’m grateful to her in so many ways, even if I tried I can never repay the love she imbued me with all those years. But it doesn’t mean — I won’t try to.

Every day when she wakes up — usually we are the two people who first wake up in our home. We then usually take a quick stroll in the park sometimes. We talk, and sometimes she nags about how I need to get my shit together. I like her nagging — it is filled with hope and advice. I tell her, everything comes at its own time. (Let me persevere, Maa)

We usually laugh, and I incite a story from her now and then. I love her stories, as I used to love my grandmothers. There’s something about their stories, that never gets old. It feels like I’m sailing through those places with her. It is like a journey, like no other.

We come back home and she asks me whether I want eggs for breakfast. She then prepares the breakfast which I thoroughly enjoy. Even though she sometimes says that she has gotten bad at it. But the flavour from the food tastes the same. Even if she says, she slightly burned it. I eat it like a child, with a bright smile on my face and with words of gratitude to spare.

Afterwards, she kind of asks to go take a bath. I get ready, and then before I head out. I always go to my mum, and I hug her. She blesses me with a kiss, and prayer to guard me on my journey. And asks when I will return. I tell her the exact time I will be home. Usually, I don’t even waste a second to arrive on time. because I know my mother wouldn’t sleep before I reach home.

Anxiety never lets mothers catch ease, until their children come home into their embrace.

Lately, I spend time with my father as well. We usually talk about topics in Data Science with his research and analysis. Scientific talk, etc.. with a professor — you know how the saying goes. Usually, he asks me about a movie or a series that’s new and interesting. We sometimes watch it together. Gosh, I miss those times when we would binge supernatural together.

My dad is usually busy as with classes becoming online and everything. But he still goes to his workplace. Even if the world is locked down — researchers are always busy. Just give them a lab, a laptop and open access to libraries and materials — this is where they do their work best.

Over the past few months, I have adjusted the time for my family more. Because everyone deserves to get heard — family first. Thus, I allow myself to spend time with my parents because they need my utmost attention. After losing my grandmother, I’m extra careful towards the wellbeing of my parents.

I’m mindful about taking care of their needs. Ensuring that their days and nights are filled with joy, with as little to no stress. Recently, mum successfully went on the Keto Diet for more than 2 months. She feels really fresh, I did the Keto diet too and feel much better. I sleep better as well.

Life in the pandemic can be hard but we can take it easy if we just follow the rules. We can allow ourselves to connect with our parents, and thus helping them to fare these tides together. That’s what families are for — it is in our hardships do we become stronger. It is because of the bond we share, do we come out greater.

Be well, take care of yourself and your parents. Live well, and stay safe.

The Takeaway

  • Connect with your parents on an emotional level.
  • Go on walks with your parents, navigate through the stress.
  • Plan a meal at home, and perhaps share a moment.
  • Forgive past troubles, and create bridges that foster harmony.
  • Be there for them in these hard times, and take care of each other.

I write about life, and the hope it bears in a poetic context. 💖🕊️

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