Climbing Your Fears in 11 Easy Steps
How I learned to climb my fears, by conquering something that caused it one obstacle at a time.
In the old days, I was a fanatic of sports. I’d run and play with my friends — activities of all kinds, that transitioned from one season to another. Initially, I had a fear of climbing walls. What if I fell down or grazed my knee or elbows for that matter, which in those days was a lot.
It would hurt, but I’d brush it off and keep trying. There was something that motivated me, during those trying times when I had to get the ball from the neighbor’s roof as my friends had sent me to fetch it by climbing on the roof.
From a small age, I had the tenacity to overcome any obstacle that came my way. It was filled with a certain rush, a thrill that I sought to replenish by facing my fears. One day, I had seen my friends jumping and parkouring up the walls of our suburbian residence.
Boy, were they awesome. I used to see them jumping, and doing parkour here and there. In that instant, I had an epiphany — perhaps I can remove my fear of heights by learning to parkour just as they would.
A week afterward, I was ready to wear my sports shorts. I chose to do what they did. I checked my pace, started running towards the wall, and jumped. I reached the top by grabbing the silts with my hands but accidentally my tummy had hit the wall, and it hurt — a lot. I let go soon afterward, as I was experiencing a severe tummy ache.
I had miscalculated my chances of reaching the top. Thus, I started to create an essential step by step approach towards learning to jump and henceforth climb the wall.
Step 1: Wear something durable.
When you’re learning to jump, or moreover climb — you need to be able to move freely. Your body needs space to move around and thus you will find it easier to push yourself further.
Plus a good set of clothing also increases your mindset and mood. Imagine running in baggy jeans and then making the leap — I tried it, isn’t fun.
Before you make your mindset to jump, or face your fears — you have to first wear something nice, and comfy to help you get in the proper mood and shape.
Step 2: Study your obstacle.
The best way to recognize your fears is to first study them. It helps us to find what causes them, why they happen, and how can we aim to overcome it?
In my case, I had to understand the silts of the wall. I had to find edges where I could place my feet. I calculated the amount of time, each of my feet would stay on the silts.
I tried practice runs, by just aiming for those silts. I also found how much time would it take to break the silts if I held on for longer periods. All these facts helped me to prepare.
You also need to understand if you are agile or not. Thus you have to start running — to do that you have to match your pace with the calculated time to leap.
When you study your fears, dissect them, and give time to each part. You will be able to move mountains, in terms of the progress of overcoming them and thus improving your chances of facing them.
Step 3: Make practice runs and brace for impact.
Failure is essential, for you to grow. Each time you face your fear, and fail. The easier it will become for you to try the next time. It will increase your tenacity every time you try.
Practice runs are essential in any scenario, whether it’s facing your bully or a gang of bullies, or rushing towards a car accident to help someone, or even standing up for something just.
Practice runs build tolerance that helps you succeed in the long run. Plus, the hurt that you receive, that pain builds your resolve in accomplishing your desired goals.
Thus, the next time you aim to confront your fears. Take as many chances as you need. Remember every chance is a newer opportunity to test something new. Whether it’s fight or flight — there will be an exciting and newer outcome each time. Make it count.
Step 4: Practice Forgiveness
Learn to forgive yourself — it helps you move on. There will come a time, you would blame yourself for not being able to complete a task. You might even self loathe, and it might cause you to lose your progress.
In such dire scenarios, you must practice forgiveness for yourself. You deserve it. You are not alone, and it is going to be all right as long as you keep trying.
It creates humility, which enables you to move past the woes and look towards what you can do and i.e practicing self-love. I know it seems hard, facing your fears but it’s going to okay. You can do it but for now, you need to take a step back and put some love into yourself.
Spend time in recovering from the pain, and loss you have received — it will make you stronger, once you forgive yourself for failing to start anew.
Step 5: Read well, and receive inspiration.
When I started learning parkour, the first thing I did was to search for answers. I wanted to find examples — people who had done what I was aiming to achieve. I learned about their backgrounds, their struggles, their failures, and what helped them to overcome that.
It helped me to mitigate the risks involved when I tried to face my fears, one obstacle at a time. It inspired me to finish what I started. It helped me to jump higher, even if it was a few feet off the ground — I was able to reach the roof’s edge in time to pull myself up.
Nowadays, the search engine is perhaps a blessing. You can find inspiration just by searching for it. There are platforms where people write, showcase, and moreover implement what they have done. It is perhaps an endless supply of inspiration, that can motivate you to achieve your goals as well with gusto and zest.
Step 6: Eat Fresh, and Eat Good.
An apple a day keeps a doctor away. In my case, I would eat pears instead. They are my favorite, and I still fancy them a lot to this day. It helped me focus more, on the possibilities that I can do it. There’s something magical about fresh fruits — when you eat them, especially your favorite ones. They help you increase your energy and motivate you further.
Fruits and vegetables are essential for a healthy diet. As a child, I had plenty of them as they were my favorite to gain an energy boost. Eating slowly and in small bites can help you digest your food better.
We always have to be reasonable about the food that enters our body. Because what we eat makes us unique. Thus, eating fresh after practice runs can supplement your energy thus boosting your mood to try again.
Doesn’t it seem like a win-win?
Step 7: Take breaks, bathe, and relax.
There’s something about a bath that just calms the senses. Sitting in the bathroom, prepping for a warm and sometimes cold bath helps you to reduce stress and helps you to relax.
A warm bath usually tends to soothe your nerves and makes you happier. While a cold bath can help relax your body as well as your mind. A bath is something that removes the distraction away from your self. It allows you to relax your mind and thus helping to improve your mood.
Splashing in the bathtub, with a rubber ducky — Quack, Quack. That seems to do the trick, at least for me. There is a separate place during my bathing routines where I meditate under the shower. To remove my doubts about daily life, I instead focus on the sound of the water slowly falling on my head, and back.
I follow the sound until I reach a place where calmness resides. A place where I am not trying to control my impulses and everything becomes calmer. This helps me to relax and eases my migraines to a certain degree where I’m able to let go of the pain.
Take breaks, to breathe, and perhaps add a cold shower into the mix often. It will help you relax, allowing you to regain your composure and confidence.
Step 8: Journal your obstacles, and fears.
I have written and documented my fears and failures a lot during my teenage years. I used to buy big notebooks, where I would analyze the choices I would make and how it would impact me. This allowed me to remain prepared and gave me insights to think about what can happen if I take the wrong step.
When we can journal our obstacles, it allows us to save information that can help us to move hurdles at another point in time. It serves as a good precursor to tracking and monitoring your progress. It acts as a primary motivator at times, allowing you to visualize this astounding fact i.e.
Look, how far you have come? and the things you were able to surpass.
I recently stumbled on my old journal. All that writing, the plans, the failures, serve as accomplishments — each one that I treasure. Our struggles when documented allows us to surpass them. Because when it becomes easier for us to write our fears every day. Their significance in our lives becomes lesser with each stroke of the pen.
In the end, those words stand to remind you who you are and how much great things that you have accomplished by allowing yourself to write through it all.
Step 9: Have an audience.
It does feel good — doesn’t it? Having someone cheering you on. Whether it be your little siblings or your friends. Be it your inner self who never stops believing in you or someone you desire to be there to watch you climb it all.
I ask these questions to myself, always who is the one for whom I will climb my fear. Who would I be able to help, if I choose to make that leap?
Where would that choice lead me to?
Would I become great in my eyes or in the eyes of my peers?
Can I add value to myself by making that leap?
Having an audience is also something that motivates someone to break away from the fears that haunt you. We want, and desire compassion from others. It is a human need, but moreover, we want people that we love to be there if we make that leap or catch us when we fall.
When we succeed, what will be the joy that we will bring to our loved ones? My goal was to show my mother that I can take care of her. That I will prove to my sibling that when it comes to the end — I won’t hesitate to make the tough choices for their sake.
I had goals and dreams that were waiting for after that choice. Thus, when I was ready — I invited an audience of 1 to show her that her son is someone who can overcome his fears, and he did.
Step 10: Aim for the win.
The final frontier — this is the moment we have all been waiting for. For what you have been practicing for. The point in time where it will decide for you, where you go from here.
The day of tests, the trial that you have to aim to win. Your mindset is developed, your skills are sharpened and you are ready. Now it is time for you to take that step, put everything on the line — and run.
There will be a certain form of zest pumping in your veins. You could see your goal ahead of you. It’s pushing, rushing in your body and mind. It can be seen in your smile as you rush with confidence and zest.
Your perspective is ready to face all odds, but this time you are aiming to win it. Win — you shall, for you have had the time to prepare and embrace failure. It has helped you to grow. It will, there are many certain outcomes when you aim to win — this mindset will keep you pushing even if you fail.
Failure is motivating you now, you will have no fears and that makes you adamant in reaching your dream. There will come a time, all that falling, failing, depression fears, and hardships will sing a tone. It will be a rhythm you will predict, by taking each step at a time to win what you aimed for.
Step 11: Take the next step, and move forwards.
It’s the beginning of the end, the journey continues. The adventure never ends, struggle never ends — it keeps you alive. You aim to take the next step, aiming to climb your next fear.
When I became this person who had mastered his fear of heights. I focused on the next big step. Climbing a 20 ft wall without a harness. Jumping from a two-story building. Administering change as I moved forwards, helping myself to push towards the next challenge.
When everything is said and done — you will have a perspective towards life, regardless of the challenge or the chaos that comes your way. You will even use fear to your advantage because it will motivate you. Your mindset will be improved and thus you would have reached a significant milestone towards climbing your fears, one challenge at a time.
Perhaps it might take years, but during that time you would be tackling different life problems. You would be focused, wanting to succeed. Now what?
Well, why not teach another what you have learned when you reach this step. I learned the hard way because the hard way is the fun one. It is perhaps the only thing I look back to in those years. The hardships made me who I’m today.
It will make you the one, that your mother would be proud of. You’ll be a great friend, an honest companion, and a skilled crafter. Pushing one fear at a time exploring all that life has to offer, allowing yourself to grow through the pain and fear that aims to cripple you — instead, you’d use it to make your life the greatest you can, with love and zest.
Keep on Climbing, the journey awaits — Run towards your fears and never look back.